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When you start to thinking about kids, most of us always think we will be the cool parent. The parent that will never drive a mini van or be called a soccer mom, that’s what we thought. One of the first things that I learned when I became a parent was everything, and I mean absolutely everything I thought I knew about being a parent quickly got thrown out the window. To make matters worse, you end up saying things you never thought you would say. It’s like an alien has moved into your brain and implanted your mother or worse, your mother in law.
When my eldest daughter was little, there was definitely a moment where I said something I never thought I would say. Recently separated from my first husband, we were living at my parents’ house. My Aunt Laura was visiting from Savannah, and we were all in the living room while Keiran was “napping.” We were chatting and carrying on when I heard Keiran on the monitor. She was probably a little over a year old at the time, and definitely hadn’t been potty trained yet. As I rose to check on Keiran, Aunt Laura told me not to worry about she would check on her.
Laura had been at Keiran’s birth and she was really excited about her first great niece. That’s why she had been so eager to check on her for me. Laura hadn’t been gone for three seconds when I heard a shrill “OH…..MY………GAWD………” in her distinct southern drawl. Frightened that she found something wrong with Keiran, I raced into the other room. Panicked I flung the door open, and braced myself to see something tragic. As I pushed Laura out of the way, there was Keiran standing there butt ass naked with her diaper flung across the room and her hands covered in poop.
Oh it wasn’t just her hands, it was on her crib, all over her, and lastly all over the WALL. That’s when it left my mouth, that thing I never thought I would say as a parent, “Keiran, you can NOT paint with your poop!” And at that I swiftly, but at arms length, took my poop covered child and headed straight to the bathroom. Had I not been around family, I might’ve taken her out back and hosed her down with the hose because she was COVERED in it!
That’s the funny thing about parenting. You have to have a sense of humor and you have to try and under your kids sense of humor. Stephanie Blum of Moms Rule YouTube Channel certainly gets a sense of humor is necessary to survive parenthood, that or we might all end up in a corner rocking ourselves. Check out this cool video from her YouTube Channel. She’s so kick ass that she will also be appearing on What She Said on TLC May 10th at 11pmET/10pmCT! My friend Vera Sweeney is going to be on there too, so you know it’s an awesome show!
You know I couldn’t stop there, I collected some hilarious sayings from other parents across the world wide web. They were fun enough to share some of the things they never thought they would say as a parent check them out. It’s hilarious!
10 Things You Never Thought You Would Say as a Parent
“Please don’t put stickers on your penis again.” -Brett M.
“Don’t pick your sister’s nose” Jennifer J.
“No! Don’t eat peanuts off the toilet seat.” Lolli F.
“Get your tater tots out of your toes.” Melanie M.
“We don’t eat our toe lint.” Jillian
“Is this poop or is this chocolate?” Randa
“Don’t drink the dog water!” Heather
“Don’t use your toothbrush on your arm pits!” Christina
“No, you may not color on the cat.” Debi
“Why did you pee on your brother” Becky
and of course
“You don’t paint the walls with your poop!” Ashley
Now that you’ve heard my funnies, make sure to check out Stephanie Blum on her Moms Rule YouTube channel. You can check her out here and on her social media channels
- Moms Rule Website: http://www.momsruleshow.com/
- Stephanie Blum’s Website:http://stephanieblum.com/
- What She Said Website:http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows-what-she-said/
- Stephanie’s bio http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/what-she-said/stephanie-blums
- Moms Rule YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/user/MomsRuleShow
Moms Rule Twitter: https://twitter.com/momsruleshow
What’s the funniest thing you have said as a parent?
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