Hot topics aren’t normally a thing we talk to much about on Crunchy Frugalista, but this was something that I thought needed to be talked about. Recently, I share this BuzzFeed video on the Crunchy Frugalista Facebook page, and got decidedly mixed reviews about whether it was funny or offensive. Check it out.
Before I dig into my take on things, a little background on me. First of all, I grew up in the South. I’ve also live ALL over the country and have met so many wonderful people from many different backgrounds. There are many fond memories I have about the curiosity I had as a child (and continues as an adult) about people from different ethnicity of myself.
There was a time when I was a wee kindergartner in North Carolina, and I created a bit of an awkward situation for myself. You see, when I didn’t understand things, I asked questions. It reigns in my memory clear as day standing at the bus stop with all the other kids, and there was this one black kid that intrigued me. He was a nice guy, and everyone kept calling him black. To my little mind, I found that confusing. So I flat out asked him “Why do they call you black when your skin is brown?” Of course, he started laughing his ass off at me, and the other white kids were in shock and horror that I would ask a question of someone that was not of my own race.
When you don’t know things, and ask questions, sometimes you are going to look like a jack ass. (Kinda the point of the video shared) Sometimes we spend so much time seeing things from our perspective that we forget that what is “normal” to us is foreign to others. Buzz Feed did an amazing job flipping the scenario to help us realize just how awkward and rude we can be sometimes when we try to see things only from our own perspective.
On the other hand, there’s no shame in asking well thought out questions to people of other races. When I lived in California, there was a gal that was very much into the holistic background. She had mixed ethnicities but had the most amazing hair. While our hair types were very different, I wanted to know what hair care regimen that she used. We were on a walk with another lady, and when I asked this simple question you would’ve thought I had asked her to murder her first born child. Our mutual friend turned to the lady I questioned and asked “Aren’t you offended that she just asked you that?” Our friend laughed and wondered why, because she asked me my hair products? You see the friend I questioned was black, and I guess asking about beauty regimines between races made me racists as well.
This has been something that I have done my entire life. Each and everyone’s culture is different. When I recently met my friend Aly we spent a lot of time talking about her background. See she is Muslim, something I know nothing about. Sure, I’ve heard all the assumptions no Muslim folks have, but I wanted to learn from her her perspective of her faith and the culture she grew up in. It was a great discussion, and actually helped me learn a lot that I didn’t know.
See hear’s the thing. So many people are worried about offending other races that we don’t bother to ask questions. We make assumptions clouded behind good intentions and those assumptions easily turn to judgements. This goes both ways. Some have shouted I have ‘no pride’ in my culture because I, as a white girl, dared share a video featuring white people being made fun of. On the other hand, some people are insinuating that I am racist because I, as a white girl, dared share a video featuring black people in a reversed role in the name of fun. You know what? I am neither racist nor insensitive. I’ve just learned that life is too fricking short! It’s about time all of the races get over themselves and treat people LIKE PEOPLE. How do we do that? We learn about each other, we take a genuine interest in learning about our differences and celebrating them. Life would be SOOOOO boring if all of the cultures of the world were exactly a like.
To this white girl, it’s total bull shit to act like it’s not ok to ask genuine questions of other races, but you know what it’s just as equally bull shit not to be able to laugh when we ask completely ridiculous and stupid questions because we are ignorant that people are just people. We all have different skin tones, different background stories, and that’s what makes the world an amazing place. Rather than worrying about being offended or offensive learn to laugh at yourself, and learn to embrace cultures other than your own from a genuine place.
We need to find ourselves and learn to be OK with ourselves. Whether that’s a cultural identity, a sexual identity, or in my case a sarcastic identity. If you are you 100% of the time, with a genuine curiosity for life and it’s people, and treat others how you would want to be treated. Just imagine what kind of world we could have. We wouldn’t have to worry about asking the right or wrong questions or using the right or wrong jargon when speaking to others.
If people spent have the time trying to understand each other as they do being so uptight, we might actually make a better place of this place we call Earth. Be yourself, be awesome (keep an open fricking mind), and if someone is offended by you genuinely inquiring about their culture because you don’t know, that’s their fault not your own. Just don’t be a jack ass when you do it! (Or you might end up being a Buzz Feed video too)
PS for the Cliff Notes version. The WHOLE point of this video is point out just how STUPID you sound asking questions before thinking. Be curious about other people, but be respectful too! It’s also making the point that making generalizations about races in general is just a BAD idea 😉
PPS If you want the short version of my point. Be yourself, be respectful, and learn to laugh once in a while. Sometimes we all look like jack asses (and looking like a jack ass knows no race)
Do you have a different opinion or experience? I would LOVE to hear from you. This is your community, and your different background is what makes this community unique and awesome. Leave a comment below your take on this topic!
Kayla @ TheEclecticElement says
Firstly, I will admit that I got a good giggle out of that video! Kudos to the person who created it-I’m the whitest white girl you’ll ever meet but I do know that there’s a line between being respectful and being disrespectful, regardless of what race, religion, or culture you are apart of.
I’m a naturally curious person so I truly 100% believe asking tasteful and respectful questions SHOULD be okay! How else are we as human beings going to learn and expand our knowledge if we are so afraid of being labeled as racists or insensitive?
Very well thought out and beautifully written post my friend 🙂
Aly Mashrah says
That video cracked me up. I love the way you put it in your blog post! I think it’s really important to ask questions and satisfy your curiosity. The important thing to make sure is that you’re being respectful about it. I get asked some pretty crazy questions and sometimes I just have to laugh, like “are you seriously asking that?” But other times I just have to understand that sometimes people are so curious they forget to be respectful. We had a great conversation when we hung out in LA and I wish more people were like that.
Jodi @ A Mom Having Fun says
Great post! I have a genuine curiosity myself, and would never intentionally be disrespectful about it. But I love learning about different cultures, faiths, and so on. However, as the video shows us all…we cannot make assumptions or generalizations it is not nice or respectful.