How many times have you told yourself that things would be better when you were skinny? Do any of these sound like you?
- I will look amazing in new clothes when I am skinny!
- My life will be so much happier when I am skinny!
- I won’t be afraid to be in family photos when I am skinny!
- I can take that vacation and wear a bathing suit when I am skinny!
Come on fess up, you know most of you reading this have said SOME version of this to yourself at one point in time. I know I sure have. Frankly, I can’t remember the last time I voluntarily took a full body picture other than to point out how AWFULLY chubby I have become after putting on weight.
Well, this week I have been reading Health At Every Size by Linda Bacon, and it has really inspired me. It’s high time we declare WAR on all those stupid things that we tell ourselves will be better “when [we] are skinny.” I don’t know about you, but I am sure not getting any younger, and I have already spent too many years of my life thinking it was awful because of my weight just to look back years later and think how good I had it then!
Since we are being completely honest with each other, I am even going to share with you my list of outright lies I tell myself about “when I am skinny.” (You just might find a few that you say to yourself)
When I am skinny……
- I won’t be afraid to meet new people anymore (hard to believe but I can be painfully shy)
- I won’t be afraid to stand up for myself anymore.
- I will be happier with my body and myself.
- I will be more important to my loved ones.
- I won’t be so self-conscious about my body when I am out in public.
- I won’t think so much about my weight and how I look.
- I won’t be afraid of taking risk.
- I will care less about what people think about me.
- I will obsess about food less.
- I will have more energy and be stronger to do things I love.
Let all of those soak in for a moment, or write your own lists of things you say to yourself. Then, I want you to wad that bad boy up and throw it away because it’s all complete crap! Losing weight isn’t some magic wand that is going to fix all of your problems. If it was we would all stay skinny all the time. It’s the fact that we don’t deal with our underlying issues that causes us to put on weight and obsess about it, thus the viscous cycles.
Now, I challenge you to write a new list. Be kind to yourself, and write ten things that are amazing about you RIGHT NOW! Just to give you some ideas, here’s my list.
I am totally awesomesauce NOW because:
- I am a very loving person.
- I have a sarcastic wit that goes for miles, and then some.
- I love helping out in my community.
- I love my children like there is no tomorrow.
- I am never afraid to teach others what I have learned along the way.
- I find inspiration and creativity wherever I go.
- I am extremely open minded.
- I am not afraid to stand up for a cause I believe in.
- I am amazingly strong and resilient and still not cynical about the world.
Ladies and gents, intuitive eating and being mindfulness isn’t just about the food. It’s about quit letting “when I am skinny,” be a crutch that you beat yourself up with and/or prevent you from loving yourself right now! Quit waiting for tomorrow to bring your happiness. Take charge and learn to love yourself today!
I took a leap of faith this week by getting my wedding band sized. It’s been too small for over a year now, and yesterday I decided that I am not going to wait for my “skinny” tomorrow to put my ring back on my finger! Heck, I went crazy and bought jeans that fit too! While I am at it, I am adding a picture of me. (Just promise not to throw darts at it!) It’s really hard for me to get on camera, so here I am even sans makeup! Now you know I am brave 🙂
What are YOU going to do to celebrate your awesomeness now?
Make sure to check out the other posts in the Intuitive Eating series here at Crunchy Frugalista! Don’t want to miss a post? Make sure to subscribe via email to Crunchy’s posts!
Jenna Wood says
I think accepting life’s ebbs and flows is essential to being happy. I also think it’s a lot easier to be supportive of one’s self when there’s a loving family behind you!
Ashley Sears says
That is such a great point, Jenna. You do have to roll with the punches. That’s what life is all about, and the great thing is our bodies are designed to do that. We just have to get our minds on board, and a loving family definitely does help with that!
Grace Hodgin says
I find that when a person embraces themselves and gets excited about the ‘Todays’ instead of the future that things start changing for the better.
Ashley Sears says
Grace, yep! Live in the now is the way to do it. Be present everywhere you go in everything that you do is going to not only let you appreciate you, but prevent burnout too!
Michelle says
You look great girl! I have learned through years of dealing with being overweight and trying to lose weight that you don’t have to be super skinny to look your best. Be confident and you’ll transform just from that! I used to tell myself those things all the time and sometimes still admittedly do. Losing weight can help some things, but it’s certainly believing in all the ways that you are awesome that truly changes your life for the better – thanks for the reminder!
Ashley Sears says
Thanks girl! You are so right there are so many things that no matter what you weigh will still affect you. Acknowledging it and fixing it is what really matters!
Teresa says
Oh Lord knows I am super guilty of the when I am skinny mentality. I so need to change that way of thinking. Thank you for the kick in the butt and for sharing your story and picture. I think you look beautiful my friend! 🙂
Ashley Sears says
Aww girl thanks! It was SOO hard not to delete that photo lol. I kept thinking of the Sesame Street book “there’s a monster at the end of this book”. I think so many women and men are “guilty” of that mentality, but it’s so hard not to be when we are really in a society that is set up to help us fail. Here’s to healthier more awesome us!
Mina Slater says
I love this! For me, I’m quite underweight and on a mission to build up some muscle and get to a healthier weight as recommended by my doctor. Despite some of the whispers and questions I sometimes get, I confidently remind myself of my awesomeness 🙂 My mom is getting back into working out and she’s got that mentality going on of when she loses this many or that many pounds she’s going to do a & b 🙁 I’m going to show her this post & have her write a list! Thank you for this!
Ashley Sears says
Mina, thank you for pointing out its not just people that are “overweight” that have this issue. We are different body types and that is what makes us beautiful not conforming to a dot on a weight scale.
Krista says
I have always been one of those people that say “when I am skinny I….” This past year I decided that I would not do that any more. I can say that I feel better about myself.
Ashley Sears says
Krista, Congrats on getting rid of that awful saying! Glad to hear that you are rocking your awesomeness!
mel says
You go girl!!! So many things that you noted, I am afraid to do too like meeting new people and being open! And you look great!! Sans makeup!
Scarlet Paolicchi says
Such a great post that everyone should read! It’s hard, but we should all recognize the positive things about ourselves & our bodies & be thankful for the little things.
I’ve added this to my StumbleUpon! 🙂
Ashley Sears says
Scarlet, thanks so much! Any help spreading the word will only help more people out there that are stuck in this awful “when I am skinny” rut!
Ruth Hill says
I think all too often we spend time saying when this happens, I will be this. And so we use it as an excuse or we just keep waiting and getting more and more discouraged. Great post!
Jodi @ A Mom Having Fun says
Growing up, I was always skinny. But now at 46, that is no longer the case. Since going into early menopause and being diagnosed with a thyroid problem, I feel like my metabolism went on a permanent vacation! Oh, and at least you thought to take off your wedding band. Mine is on my finger and I can’t get it off!!! I would like to lose enough weight to at least take care of that. 😛
LaVonne says
You are super brave! 🙂 And you look great BTW. THanks for posting this. I loved it. I need to lose about 20 lbs still and I hate posting any pics of me on my blog! Kuddos to you.
Ashley Sears says
Girl, posting that pic was the HARDEST thing to do! I am 70 pounds over where my body likes to be because of all the crap I have been telling myself over the last few years. So I know where you are at! On the other hand posting it felt kinda liberating!
Amber Edwards says
I love these intuitive eating posts! Such great info and so important! I struggle with this one a lot. You gave me a great start to get working on it.
Ashley Sears says
Amber, I am so glad you like the posts. Make sure to come back every Friday as I will have new tips, inspirational ideas, and even recipes from time to time!
Jenn @comebackmomma says
Perfect timing for this post. I have been struggling with wanting to get my “skinny” back. I need to focus on all the amazing things about me. Even though I may not be as slim as I’d like, I am strong and fit, a terrific mom and wife. Thanks for reminding me that I ROCK! You do too!
Ashley Sears says
Of course you rock! I have always admired the title of your blog, and the subtitle “It’s never too late” Rock your on with your awesomesauce self!
Lea says
I really did used to think this way and am so glad that you are working through these lies that we tell ourselves. You confidence may improve, but being “skinny” is not the cure all … for all. You look great and so does that newly sized ring on your finger 🙂
SHELLEY R ZUREK says
So proud of you Ashley. You really do have to love yourself where you are!!
Kristyn says
i love this post! I find that i am constantly saying when i am this about many things instead of looking at what I am currently great at
Melissa says
Great post!!! I still have my “I will some day get into those” jeans hanging out in my dresser drawer. Its been almost 10 years since those jeans fell into that drawer. I am who I am. I am an amazing Mom, sister teacher and friend. My life is better now than it was when I was skinny and trying so hard to stay that way. I am still healthy but much more happier even at a size or two bigger.
Ashley Sears says
Melissa, Getting rid of my “skinny jeans” was one of the harder things to do, but you know what I feel so much better now that I have pants that fit and don’t make me realize the weight gain with every step I take! Get rid of those jeans sista!
Laura says
Boy am I guilty of that!! I won’t buy other jeans, because I want to get back into mine comfortably. However squeezing into them doesn’t enhance the figure or the ego. If I just bought a bigger size I would look better.
I so know it’s a lie when I say I won’t obsess about food once I get to my weight..I will obsess more.
I’m trying to get over the number and go with how I feel. Yes I am not at the number I want, but I feel better than I have in years prior.
Way to go you recognizing your strengths!!
Ashley Sears says
Laura, Buying bigger jeans is so liberating. I can tell you from experience. It’s nice to have something that fit and then just live your life to the fullest. If the weight happens to come off by just being as awesome as you are so be it, but no need to have the constant uncomfortable reminder that you have gained a few by wearing pants that are too small!
Jodi says
I think we all think this way from time-to-time but when I turned forty I found myself feeling a little forgiving of myself and my shortcomings in the diet department.
Ashley Sears says
Jodi, I think those of us that aren’t naturally forgiving of ourselves learn to be as we become wiser. Life is too short not to appreciate your awesome ways.