There’ve been articles ad nauseum about women needing to cover up and be more modest and how we need not tempt men with our bodies. As a full figured gal, there’s a news flash for the men of the world………………. my body is NOT for your viewing pleasure. My total existence isn’t so you can decide if I’m worth oogling or not. It might be quite a shock to you, but the awesome dress with the kick ass heels I put on today; they weren’t with you in mind.
Shocking, I know! A woman that doesn’t dress up to attract men! That’s not because I have a husband; it’s because my body is mine. It is mine to decorate and adorn with makeup, clothes, and jewelry as I wish. It is mine to show off or cover up when I see fit. MINE. T. TOTALLY. MINE.
It was just the other day that how much men think my body is theirs to enjoy hit me square in the boobs. Yep, the boobs. Hubby and I went to the Mac store to shop for computers. We walked into the store, and were helped by an older gentleman probably in his 50s. Hubby walked away while, the sales associate “helped me” with my computer. While he did give me quite good information on which computer would work best for me, he also did help himself to a full on conversation with my breasts.
Keep in mind, I’m the kinda gal that is oblivious to anyone paying attention to me. A guy could come up to me, passionately kiss me, and I would wonder ‘you think he likes me?!” Yes, that oblivious. The fact that the Apple guy thought he was at the Golden Coral and my breasts were his visual buffet meant it was pretty fricking obvious.
Did I correct him? Did I make a scene? No, I didn’t ,but I did leave feeling like that guy’s inclination to meet his needs for boob views was more important than his need to actually pay attention to what I was saying..
This is the thing for me. Society teaches us to hate ourselves and hate our bodies. Society defines beauty as something that women should worry about so we can be the pretty flowers for all to see. Let me share a secret with you. It’s. NOT. OUR. JOB. TO. BE. BEAUTIFUL.
Thousands of young girls grow up with body shame because, unlike boys, our budding bodies out there for everyone to see. Puberty is awkward and we have to make it through alive, but yet so many don’t leave unscathed because boys, young and old, are always watching. For so many decades we have been told it’s ok. They are just flattering you. I call bullshit.
We aren’t works of art……… We aren’t flowers….. We are people. It’s time we challenge the idea that “boys will be boys” and realize we don’t have to put up with it. You aren’t being a bitch if you say something to someone looking at you inappropriately. You have the right to walk down the street and just be YOU!
Rather than shaming our bodies and other women, why don’t we support each other in learning to love ourselves. We need to love ourselves and learn it’s ok NOT to put up with people oogling our bodies. It is NOT our responsibility to predict other people’s reactions to what we wear. It is NOT our responsibility to “remove temptation” by dressing more modestly. If you want to dress more modestly, that is a different story, but do it for you, not because you think your body is a temptation for others.
It’s taken me YEARS, scratch that decades, to learn that my body is ok just they way it is. Don’t let all your hard work go to waste by someone telling you you aren’t dressing modestly enough. Don’t let people make you believe it’s your job to be beautiful. In the wise words of a friend of mine “it’s not my job to look like someone you want to f*ck!”
Remember you are beautiful, you are epic, and you are awesome!
Savanah Fahrney Day says
I dress for me and sometimes for my husband. I really wish people would realize that nude leggings don’t make good pants though…
Ashley Sears says
Lol. I can see where nude leggings can be confusing. It’s just asking women to own other people’s actions that irks me. We should be able to control our own thoughts, not expect others to change so we can.