Right before we left for Denver, I got an email about the Teal Pumpkin project. Just having time to glance over it I was thrilled to see the food allergy community taking a fun stance on Halloween (one of my favorite holidays of the year) What I wasn’t prepared for was for all the troll comments time and time again on national news coverage when people are talking about food allergies. That’s what made me wonder what’s wrong with the teal pumpkin project.
Before I let you know what I think about the Teal Pumpkin Project, I want you to read these comments left on an article building awareness food allergies. Keep in mind this project is for Halloween and KIDS!
Ok, first off all I have some choice words for some of these commenters. With infantile comments, they have the AUDACITY to tell other parent to “grow up” or that the are “lazy, lazy, lazy” Well let’s debunk that myth right now. You want to know what my life is like living with a child with severe food allergies? It’s a living hell. There I said it. Living day in and day out with a child with a chronic illness is it’s own special level of purgatory.
Every day I wake up wondering in the back of my mind if my daughter will have passed away in her sleep because her little body is tired of fighting. Day after day I watch my daughter at the tender age of 11 slowly slip into clinical depression because her reality is too much for her beautiful mind to handle. All the while jerks like these are telling her to “suck it up” and “life isn’t fair.”
As for the lazy part, my days consist of bathing a child THREE times a day, coating her from head to toe in medicine, and listening to her scream how much she hates her life because she’s so tired of being sick and tired. All of this “fun” is a side effect of her having severe food alleriges. Because she is always sick we homeschool because some days she can’t even stay awake enough to concentrate on television let alone her studies. My kid is WELL aware that her life is much different than “normal” kids.
What blows my mind is the fact that people really do think that parents like me WANT our kids to be sick for the attention. You know what? This week we are at National Jewish Hospital my daughter’s FIFTH hospitalization in 18 months, and I am OVER THE MOON that she is being taken off of medications. It’s been so long since she’s been better, just thinking about it makes me well up in tears.
Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection – or compassionate action.”
-Daniel Goldman
You want to know what is wrong with the Teal pumpkin project? Absolutely nothing!!! Here’s why. FARE is ASKING people to participate if people feel moved to share food allergy awareness. We as a family have chosen to participate because Bayla is a FARE teen ambassador. In past years we have handed out candy and might do it again in the future. What is wrong with this world isn’t some spoiled brat with food allergies handing out non food treats. It’s the parents that are FAILING their kids and our society not teaching empathy to their kids. Raising kids that don’t try to see things from other people’s perspective results spoiled adults that think of nothing but themselves. (Imagine that)
Even though I think their logic is absolutely maddening, I’ve genuinely tried to see a logical and rational point to all this hate. I’ve tried to put myself in their shoes, but you know what selfish isn’t a shoe size that fits me well. (Neither is mean)
On a positive note, for every unempathetic person, like these commenters, I have met some wonderful parents, teachers, and daycare providers that get how hard life is with food allergies. They don’t advocate awareness to be pushy. They advocate because they are empathetic to those that are less fortunate than themselves. In my opinion, empathy, regardless of the cause, is something our country can use a whole hell of a lot more of.
The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy, we can all sense a mysterious connection to each other.”
― Meryl Streep
For the naysayers that think I am ticked because I am a food allergy parent, don’t think me so shallow. I advocate for kids with autism and many other conditions, none of which my kid have. It’s about being empathetic and really becoming a community again rather than this selfish self-serving country we have turned into over the years. It’s time to get back to basics and realizing empathy is a trend that is never out of style.
Samantha D says
I am so happy you posted this! I also have very bad food allergies and I always have mini coloring books and stickers and play doh for that exact reason, almost no one ever asks for it though. One year I had a 3 year old come up with her parents and her dad said “She can’t eat chocolate because she is allergic, do you have chewy candy?” When I showed him that I had play doh he looked to relieved and the little girl’s smile made my whole month!
Ashley Sears says
Samantha, That is so sweet of you! I remember when Bayla was three years old and would look at what they put in her bag and say “I can’t hab dat. I food awwergies.” It took us half the houses to tell her not to say that that we just separate them when we get home. It’s awesome 9 years later that some people want to do non food items 🙂 Love hearing about more awesome peeps like you!
Michelle says
I think the people with the awful comments are missing the point behind the project. It’s not because children aren’t taught what they can or can not have. It’s so they can participate in trick or treating and be able to enjoy the treats they receive . Where is the fun in getting something you can’t have? These are children for Pete’s sakes have some compassion.
Ashley Sears says
Michelle, I think you hit the nail on the head. Most food allergies kids are more vigilant about what they can and can’t have than adults understand. It’s a matter of having some compassion and making a kid’s day.
Jessica Davison says
I love the #tealpumpkin project this year. We do not deal with food allergies in our home, but I know many children do. It is wonderful that awareness and compassion are being raised so children who DO have allergies can still enjoy the fun holiday! It doesn’t take much to pick up some trinkets at the dollar store, or even print of some FREE printables to share with all children! Have it in addition to candy, so children can choose! 🙂
Calle says
We’ve also received the comments. Our DD is almost four and does understand there are things she can’t have–but shouldn’t she be able to enjoy herself just as much as non-allergic kids? Why should she stay home–or have to give away half of her candy (or more) just so someone else won’t feel inconvenienced? If people want to participate in the Teal Pumpkins that’s their choice–if someone doesn’t? Well, whose forcing them to?
Nasty people with nasty hearts–who else would look at teal pumpkins so negatively???
Anna says
Thank you for this blog! Some people can be so mean and hurtful for no reason. I do not have food allergies, nor does anyone in my family but I understand that for some people these allergies can control their lives. Children with food allergies should be able to enjoy halloween just like any other child! My home will be supportin this yearly!
Ashley Sears says
Anna, You are so right. Don’t get me wrong we all have our times that we are human and might be not the nicest, but I don’t think it should be a lifestyle. Life is way too short not to help each other out and have some feeling.
Stephanie says
My kids don’t have allergies, but my son has a friend who has gone into anaphylactic shock three times in his life due to his allergies. The kids met when they played soccer together, and it amazed me how many parents completely ignored the allergen list and suggested snacks when it was their turn to bring treats. Not like they were asking for anything difficult, and the suggestions were incredibly helpful and stuff most kids love, such as Oreos.
This is not a difficult or terribly expensive thing to do. So far as I can tell, the only even slightly hard part is painting the pumpkin!