10 Ways a Physical Therapist is Like a Terrorist
During my long route to recovery, I must’ve missed the memo that physical therapist really stood for personal terrorist. Being all cooped up in the house over the last six months must’ve kept me out of the loop! Well, I definitely learned that message with first-hand experience today with my first trip to physical therapy. Let us begin explaining this fun trip by looking at the definition of the word terrorist.
ter·ror·ist
/ˈterərist/
Noun
A person who terrorizes or frightens others.
Though my therapist was an awesome guy, with a wicked sense of humor, I can assure the thought of a physical therapist does, in fact, frighten me. Let’s see exactly what 10 ways a physical therapist is like a terrorist.
1. They are experts in using the Vulcan death grip, and then expect you to talk.
2. You follow their demands or they make you pay for it later.
3. They pretend to be your friend and then hit you where it hurts.
4. Just the sight of them causes instant fear and panic.
5. If demands aren’t met, they aren’t afraid to take hostages.
6. You never see the same one twice, to keep their identities safe.
7. They both tell you if you want what’s good for you, you will do as you are told.
8. You hate them both at first, but spend enough time with them and you begin to suffer from Stockholm Syndrome.
9. After the pain subsides, they both leave you begging for mercy.
10. And finally, after you give them what they want, they still expect you to pay them.
What’s the difference between a therapist and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist
~~ Rob the therapist
kathleen says
I had surgery on Monday for a broken hip, at 52 years young, and today was my PT evaluation. Holy pain batman! The most I can do is get myself to the bathroom.
Crunchy Frugalista says
Kathleen, See you know what I am talking about! I hope that you get better soon, and the terrorist, I mean therapist is willing to negotiate!
Danielle says
Oh man! I’m sorry 🙁 I had PT when I was younger for my knee but honestly don’t remember it. Maybe I blocked it out?
Crunchy Frugalista says
Consider yourself lucky you blocked the painful memories out. I had PT when I had knee surgery and it wasn’t too bad. This guy was “massaging” my scar tissue and I wanted to donkey kick him.
Jenilee says
I love #10. You get to sit there and have them make you cry your eyes out…and they get paid for it. *sigh*
Crunchy Frugalista says
Yeah, that just seems REALLY wrong. They cause pain AND get paid to do it. Somehow I think we need to rethink this system.
Amber Edwards says
Oh that is WAY too funny; and very true! I’ve had my fair share of PT. Not something I enjoyed. I’m sorry you have to go through it.
Crunchy Frugalista says
I just try to remember that it will be worth it in the long run. Right now not so much !
Felissa (Two Little Cavaliers) says
I had a Physical Therapist while I lived in Hong Kong for my feet. Most of the time I was in pain while working with her but not necessarily any more pain then when I was just walking around. The days where she used her thick and long acupuncture needles right in the areas of the worst pain I hated her. She happened to be my next door neighbor so I did generally like her and she really did help because I have pretty much been pain free since I left Hong Kong.
Crunchy Frugalista says
It’s that whole LOVE/HATE relationship thing. My therapist was a really great guy, but he was working the soft tissue around my surgery incision. It was taking my breath away, and he was all chatty Kathy lol.
Jewels says
I think I about wet myself laughing! I had PT after my son was born, but mine was all about the massage, since he separated my hips funny from my back. Heal quickly!!
Crunchy Frugalista says
Then my job here is done. I suggest Poise next time, I hear they are quite reliable.
Michelle says
Oh this is too funny and so true! I’ve luckily not had to have PT, but I have had friends and family that have and I think they’d agree with each point.
Crunchy Frugalista says
Consider yourself lucky. PT is not for the weak of heart. It definately puts hair on your chest. (that’s another post altogether)
Jodi @ A Mom Having Fun says
My sister broke head on her humorous bone 2 Christmas’s ago and had to repair the bone and had rotator cuff surgery – same thing? Anyway, she had 6 months of therapy and the poor woman cried during all of her sessions…and she has a very high tolerance to pain. Unfortunately if they did not break through all the scar tissue her range-of-motion would have been dramatically compromised. The pain that you have to endure sounds horrible. 🙁
Crunchy Frugalista says
Yeah, scar tissue is NOT for wusses. I have a relatively high pain tolerance, and I didn’t know whether to pass out or throw up at times.
Penny McPherson says
Oh man can I relate to this one I just had knee replacement sergery on oct 8 this is my second time after having knee replacement 2 years ago on the other leg and the women at the physical therepy place are very good but they will bend you like a pretzel and Make you say things that your momma shouldn’t hear lol and I did like these women a lot they were the same ones that I had sat time they will touch you when you don’t want to be touched and they will double team on you when they don’t think your trying and make you cry.
Crunchy Frugalista says
Knee replacement surgery is no joke. My mom had that a few years back, and even though she was barely 50 they wanted to put her in an inpatient rehab for a few weeks. Hope you are feeling better!
lea says
I was in an accident and had a base skull fracture, broke both orbital sockets, fractured right and left sinus cavity, broken jaw, broken neck at c2, c3,c4,c5,c6, broken left scapula (shoulder blade), 3 pelvic fractures, and broke my right hip. I’ve had 7 surgeries, a rib removed, etc, etc… and the only reason why I look like nothing ever happened (besides always in chronic pain from having fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis) You would never guess this happened to me just a couple years ago thanks to all the physical therapy I’ve done. Physical therapy, currently doing it now for the 7th time, myofascial therapy, bio feedback therapy, neuro feedback therapy, and aqua therapy. Physical therapy has been the best thing for me. It’s tru it took 4 attempts to find a smart PT, some just don’t do whats best for you or have no idea what they’re doing. But just keep trying, it’s not all that bad, just find the right doctor, especially ones that always educated themselves with updated science and things ya know? good luck to all
Crunchy Frugalista says
Wow, Lea, glad to hear you are doing better! It’s not that my physical therapist was bad, it was just the fact that when you’ve just had surgery the last thing your body wants to do is move. I am actually done with physical therapy now, and hopefully they did their job and I will get full strength back by the end of the year like my doctor believes. Good luck with your recovery 🙂
Cathy says
I am a physical therapist and saw this on Pinterest. I’ve heard similar reference from my patients….but I just don’t see it…LOL. I always tell them….for a much pain and torture you say I do….you keep comin back…I’m not dragging you out of your house to get here…LOL
Ashley Sears says
Cathy, I love your comment! Yes, I must be a masochist as much as my therapist was a terrorist lol. My therapist was great, and had a great sense of humor. It made my recovery all the better. 🙂 Kudos to great PTs 🙂