My trip to LA was an absolute once in a lifetime opportunity, but you know what there was ONE major thing getting in my way. ME! Having to take pictures of myself, at my heaviest non pregnant weight, was one of THE hardest things I have had to do. This may sound like something trivial, but when you have struggled with self esteem issues your whole life it can feel like the world is caving in on you.
Why Am I So MEAN?
Don’t get me wrong, I think I am a pretty awesome chick. I am ok with my personality, my saracatic wit, and my sense of loyalty to my friends and family. It’s the exterior that I STILL having a hard time accepting. Hearing myself talk to myself, NO I don’t mean voices in your head kinda talk, I am downright MEAN to myself sometimes. (Read more at the bottom for 7 tips to feel better about yourself and stop being so mean!)
Over the course of the trip, I had absolutely no problem passing out compliments to 24 other bloggers that were on the trip. We were a beautiful group of all different types of women. Big, small, short, tall, young, old(er). It was a beautiful thing. Then why couldn’t I get over MYSELF and just let me be?
Are You a Priority?
It was about midway through the trip that my friend Vera, from Lady and the Blog, said something that really clicked. We were talking about our websites, her’s happens to be fashion. It wasn’t her fashion that intrigued me, but her philosophy behind the fashion. It’s all about putting ourselves back on the “to do” list. She shared she had an ah hah moment a few years back after having her children that she didn’t even recognize the woman in the mirror anymore (ok we all know we have had that moment). So, she decided to make herself a priority again.
How many of you have said that but never actually done it? I know I have. It’s been pretty obvious for years that taking care of myself hasn’t been a priority for years. Come on, I will be the first to admit I am the stereotypical work at home mom. Coffee is my breakfast of choice and jammie pants my work attire. If a brush hits my rats nest head of hair, it’s been a good day!
When I got home, I vowed to make a change. I have spent all this time learning more about mindful eating, and it’s high time that I make myself a priority. I need to find the little things that make me feel better about myself. Since I have been back, that’s exactly what I have been doing, and you know what? It’s amazing how much a neat accessory, some eyeliner, a shower, and some alone time in the morning makes you feel so amazing!
Last week, I got this really neat necklace from Cents of Style and it’s become my new happy moment. It’s not because of vanity, it’s because it’s fun! The necklace is not something I would’ve picked for myself because I’ve never felt fashionable, (still really don’t) but it’s FUN! It’s bright, it’s colorful and it screams that I love me!
The first day I wore the necklace, it inspired me to actually get dressed AND blow dry my hair. I even managed to throw on a little eye liner. Just taking that 20 minutes to actually put together something nice to wear, fix my hair, and spend some time on myself made me realize just how much I hadn’t been spending any time on myself. Auto pilot was my method of transportation, with detours through “you are wearing that” city and “don’t even think about going out of the house in that” boulevard. (I mean I was one step above People of Walmart.com folks ;))
This necklace has come to symbolize hope, it’s kinda like my new super power. While the new bauble is fabulous, it’s not because it’s an accessory. It’s because it proved to myself that I DO need to make myself a priority and just how good it feels when I do. It feels really great, and I need to build the habit of putting more “me” into the daily schedule!
Now what about you? Have you ever felt this way? Come on, be honest?! Need some inspiration then? Here are some tips on how to grab those little things that make you feel a little bit better about yourself everyday!
1. 15 minutes of me time: Before the kids get up, or after they go to bed spend 15 minutes of “me” time. Just 15 minutes where you can unwind doing whatever you want.
2. Be Kind to Yourself: All those compliments you so freely give to others, turn it around and say them to yourself.
3. Smile and Laugh: When you are having a rough day, remember life is too short and SMILE!
4. Get Dressed: No matter how busy you are, always try to get dressed. Yeah, it’s fun some days to stay in yoga pants, but try to get showered and dressed! It’s amazing how something simple like that will put a spring in your step.
5. Change it up: Buy yourself something fun! My mint and coral flower necklace from Cents of Style was my latest treat! (provided by Cents of Style). Find something you wouldn’t normally buy, and make it fun!
6. Write down what you like about yourself: This is a trick I did with my daughter when she had problems with bullies. Take some time a few times a week and write a list of things you love about you! It may be hard at first, but eventually you will be amazed at how long the list is!
7. Be Thankful for your body: No matter what your body looks like, be thankful for it and honor it. Move it when you feel like moving, embrace the changes in your body that have come with growing older or having children. Think of all the amazing adventures that your body has helped you have!
As a treat to you guys, I just might start sharing more of my goodies and baubles that I find that make me feel fabulous! It’s all about making you look and feel your best :). Remember it’s the small things that do that! (Plus, who doesn’t like a deal or two on a beautiful goodies??)
To kick off Crunchy’s Feel Fabulous Friday, make sure to check out these Cents of Style deals 🙂 (Use coupon code MINTED)
Pearl Bangle Bracelets $4.49 shipped (Reg. $10.95)
Julia Scarf $8.95 shipped (Reg. $14.95)
TONS of Other goodies starting at $4.95 shipped
In case you didn’t see it at the top (do you even read the top?), I did receive a free necklace from Cents of Style. All super powers and opinions are my own.
Rae Howell says
I completely feel the same way most days. I’m a stay at home doggie mom and now we are living a country life of chickens, gardens and other country stuff….I’m of the attitude of why the heck do I need to dress up to get dirty…BUT I can make a vow that when I go run errands in town once or twice a week I can let my hair down and wear makeup. I know my hubby loves to see my hair down and I only keep it long for him.
I am think your tips are great and I will be working to partake in one or two a week!!! Thanks for the great advice!
Demetria Rupkey says
First of all – EXCELLENT ARTICLE!! I agree 100% with everything you said here! Some of these things are things that I teach in my coaching practice AND things that I had to learn to do myself. I am 37 years old with a mix of grown and teenage kids. Through the years I have watched my body change and struggled with “loving” myself through all the changes that Mother Goddess had bestowed upon me. Recently I have learned to spend some time with myself – I have done more than learn- I have demanded ME time! I have demanded this from myself and demanded it from my family. Being a mother for the last 20 years had clouded my view of myself – I thought my only identity was MOM. Long story short – I have learned to love ME and to take time for ME. I love your article Ashley!! Very awesome and sound advice!
Susannah says
I feel my best when I make time to look my best. A shower, a nice outfit, great shoes, makeup, and great hair go a long way. But I also feel my best when I eat right and stay active. I don’t have to eat healthy 100% of the time, but when I do, I feel so much better about myself (and my tummy thanks me too!). And I don’t necessarily need to exercise to stay active, but just getting up, getting moving and out of the house, and being productive with my day makes me feel so GREAT! 😀
Kei says
I love this! And I sooo identify!
Can I borrow this list for my MOPS newsletter? I’d be sure to credit you, of course. 🙂
Thanks!
Ashley Sears says
Kei, I have no problem, but please don’t reproduce the whole post. Shoot me an email at [email protected] so we can discuss 🙂