WARNING: Some pics not for the weak of heart or stomach
I bet that title got your attention! Who wouldn’t want a sponge bath by Chris Helmsworth?
Well, as you guys know I had surgery exactly a week ago today. Trust me when I tell you I have learned the importance of stretching. Memo noted, taken, memorized. Got it! I will never exercise without stretching again.
Went to the doctor today to get my monstrous bandage off, and it really made me ponder the things I have learned while sitting on my ever growing butt over the last week. Please learn through me, so you to won’t need a sponge bath from Chris Helmsworth (wait, that was supposed to make you listen, not make you want to hurt yourself)
Lesson 1: Sweatpants are your best friend. Especially the XXXL size!
This goes beyond the regular yoga pant love! One thing the docs neglected to tell me was that my bandage was going to be the size of Elephant Man’s foot. The ONLY pants I could get on were 2 pair of pajamas pants my bestie gave me that her mom didn’t wear anymore. If they hadn’t been TWO sizes too big, I would have spent this entire week pantless. Trust me, that option is NOT as glamorous as it seems. I mean LOOK at this thing! It’s huge!
Lesson 2: Sponge baths are overated!
Unless this gorgeous piece of man is administering said sponge bath, having to wash yourself using a washcloth and washing your hair in the sink is WAY overrated. The first thing I am going to do tomorrow is take a shower!
I am sad to report that Chris Hemsworth’s PR peeps never did get back to me about my sponge bath request. Hoping their response is still in the mail.
Lesson 3: Stitches are an amazing way to gross out your friends.
My daughter and my best friend took me to the doctor to get my elephant bandage removed. My stitches sure felt a LOT larger when they were in the bandage. Warning this next pic is not for the weak stomached.
Lesson 4: The world will not end if you sit your butt in a recliner for a week (or two)
As mom’s we are always on the go, and always taking care of everyone else. You know what I have done this week? Eat, take pains meds, sleep, sponge bath, waited for Chris to show up, and repeat.
I have caught up on my blog design, finished a few crochet projects, and even finished a few books that I have been meaning to read. Guess what?! My house is still standing. My kids are still getting fed, and my husband is still clothed. The world DOES still go on when mom is not functional.
Lesson 5: Things that make the world all better
This week would’ve been so much harder with out my invalid survival gear. Thanks to the suggestions of so many Crunchy readers, I had QUITE the set up to help me stave off boredom.
Things that make invalid status better
- Warm Fuzzy blankets
- Lots of comfy pillows
- Computer games
- and of course Steak and Shake Milk shakes!
Lesson 6: It’s exciting to be able to wear “real” clothes again
This week has consisted of sweaters, sweat pants, and no bra days. It will be nice ,now that I am in a cast again, to actually look like I can wear real clothes. I am actually craving a shower and my cute jeans! Does that make me sad?