I read a post a week ago that was talking about how much people give way too much of a crap about what others think. (The posts was aptly titled The Art of Not Giving a F*ck) As I sit here waiting for a plane to head back home, that idea really resonates with me. Why are we so obsessed with making ourselves miserable on the idea that others might be judging us or expect us to be something we aren not?
You guys know I am not an average chick. I’m quirky, I’m a smart ass, I’m the “good kind” of crazy. That has definitely acquired me quite a few (ok way more than a few) people that don’t get me and/or don’t like me. In yesteryear this would’ve bothered me immensely, but you know what? I’ve been a work in progress and have at least acquired my purple belt in not giving a crap what other people think. (Not quite black belt, but getting there)
There’s been so many bad toxic friendships in my life I could probably could write an epic novel. There’s so much material because I grew up thinking that I didn’t deserve better. That if they were unhappy with me it must’ve been something I’ve done.
Does this sound familiar? There’s so many of us that just settle for unhealthy relatonshiops just to fll the void. We make excuses for people treating us poorly, and justifiy why someone acts harshly towards us even though it’s a pattern not just a one time thing. Do you think they justify our behavior the same? You and I both know the answer to that question.
Think about it. The average person fills their lives with “have tos” living very little time to do things that actually make them happy. They scream at themselves that they are selfish if they even think about having some me time or goodness forbid say the deserve better. There’s so much go, go, go, and not as much stop, silence, and celebration.
Why is it that we fill our lives with people that don’t really have our backs at the end of the day? Why do we settle for relationships that really aren’t that healthy? Why do we make excuses and justify why others treat us like crap?
You want the answer? It’s not a sweet one, it’s because WE. PUT. UP. WITH. IT. That’s not from a place of judgement, because peeps you KNOW I’ve been there. (A post about toxic friendships has some strong roots in crap I went through) That’s why I want to shake you about the virtual shoulders and wake you up. Life is too short is not a cliché, ok well maybe it is, but it’s not inaccurate. We get one round in this rodeo. We might as well spending with the hot cowboy that treats us like a queen than with the bull that’s angry and gonna kick our ass.
In my life, I don’t have a lot of friends, but you know what? The ones I do have are gems. They show me the loyalty that I would show them, and they accept me for me. Quirks and all (it makes me fun to take to parties).
As I get older, there’s just more time to reflect about all the time I’ve given away to people that haven’t been worthy of me or my time. The memories of all the tears shed over lost friendships when I knew they didn’t know the true definition of friend.
It’s times like the week where I’ve met some amazingly upbeat and sweet group of Canadians that drive home that people deserve awesome. They need to stop settling for ok. Awesome attact awesome, which is never a bad thing. This week was filled with laughter, new friends, and amazing foods. Things that are some of the biggest things that SHOULD matter in life. With as little time as we have in our lives, why would you want to accept anything less?
It’s high time that you take inventory of your life. You are too awesome to spend your heart and soul on people that just aren’t worthy. When’s the last time you’ve really looked at your relationships to see does being with that person really make you happy. Do they love you for who you are? Are they not afraid to be bluntly honest with you? Do they put as much ffort into seeing you as you do them? If you can answer yes to most of those questions, it’s time to start questioning their place.
You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are amazing, You are epic. Rather than fearing being alone ll the time, it’s time to realie if you are surrounded by faux friends then you are already alone.